The scorching sun shone fiercely that fateful Tuesday. I had to go to the bank quickly. The driver pulled up at the bank, I adjusted my outfit tucking in my blouse,sucking my bulging tummy in as I ran my fingers through my hair to flatten it out. The stench at the bank was toxic to the point of slight shortness of breath. I reached into my bag and got out my hand lotion, as I rubbed both palms together, I looked towards my right and saw this cashier. She was something but not from a magazine. Her hair looked like inter-twined jute bags buried in the earth. From where I stood I saw the brown flaky clusters at the corner of her head. She had no weight anywhere, malnourished-looking.Her skin was terribly dark and unappealing like the descriptions of the nomad in Cyprian Ekwensi’s “The Passport of Mallam Ilia”. No matter what lotion she managed to pamper her skin with, I was most certain it would never glow.Her fingers, oh! her fingers were shrivelled looking, fragile and totally unhealthy. Her nails looked terribly unkempt, unpainted and generally not a sight to behold.
It got to my turn and I saw her dentition protruding like they were gasping for breath. What came to mind was the image of the first man I had seen in my younger years at school.I wondered how in heaven’s name this work of art gained employment with such a reputable bank. I was so confused as I stared at her.
Then I saw it. On her 2nd finger, left hand, a wedding band. HOW? NOT POSSIBLE. WHAT????She’s married? Interesting. There I was thinking Ruby woo was the perfect shade for my lips, Colgate was the best tooth paste for my fragile dentition and Shea moisture was the perfect body soap. There was someone an arms-length away from me who probably doesn’t use any of these items but is soooo married. I couldn’t understand it. I looked puzzled as she assisted with my transaction but I left the bank fully aware of the awesomeness of God. She was God’s creation, His child, His daughter. She was perfect in God’s eyes and she was married. MARRIED. And here I was thinking my current state of being unmarried is probably from the village (na so ). Truth be told, the Holy Spirit answered me saying ” she has a beautiful soul“. And I agree 100%. She was perfect to her husband to the point he knelt down on one knee and gave her a ring. She was perfect to the point that he didn’t need to bail on her at the altar. She’s desirable to him and they probably have kids as evidence. Her husband wakes up every morning to this sight every day. Then why waste so much time and money dressing the outward rather than adding value to the inward. We spend so much time hunting for how to attract a man with our outward and forget most of the time, what keeps a man is what is within. 1Peter 3:3-4 says- “ Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”. We’ve heard or read this part of the scripture countless times but never take out time to digest and apply it. A question comes to mind, how do we become beautiful within? And how do we keep at it? Isaiah 28 v 5 , claims the only way to be truly beautiful is to have God’s glory upon us. When His glory is bestowed upon us, we have no choice but to go about ‘doing good’. If we share God’s love to one another, we are automatically reflecting outwardly, what is on our inside- Isaiah 52 v 7.
God’s love is so beautiful even though our hearts be cloaked in sin, he still finds us attractive. Attractive enough to bless us over and over again.
So as a single lady, I decided to take a step back and reflect on certain past actions and now I’m begging God to make me beautiful on the inside. God loves me even when I do wrong and push Him away. No mortal can love like this. That’s the idea of a perfect relationship. I have to be attractive to God, my lifestyle should speak God and attract Him to bring blessings my way and get me to do His bidding..Yea, quite a number of people go “you ‘re so beautiful” / your skin is lovely / you are hot etc. I don’t want it to end there… I’m more than that.
I wanna be seen as wise, patient, kind(this is such a huge task bearing in mind my degree in sarcasm and being a meanie), soft spoken,resourceful , prayerful, etc and prove God right to my peers who think beauty starts from the South American hair and end with the Gel-nail polish. I want to meet a man and have him say ‘Have you heard my babe speak” and not “have you seen my sexy babe“. It had always been the other way round where I have to show cleavage, the human hair, wear heels, red lipstick (an addiction) to gain a man’s interest. For how long do you want to do this and ignore character building.
Make your single years count. Be closer to God like your life depends on it. Acquire the beauty expected of you so when that dude comes along, he can fulfill scriptures because he would have found a ‘good thing‘ and favor is his.
I have incredible friends now, who don’t know how much they’ve touched me in such a short while every Wednesday (currently my favorite day of the week). With their help, I know better now. So today I’m starting a daily prayer -(pray it if you can) “Lord, take away my outward beauty and illuminate my inward beauty so the right man will see me,genuinely fall in love( real love WITHOUT SEX) and would not have to wait for so long before he asks me to be his forever. I will trust you. I would not scream at you Lord in the name of prayer, I would no longer cry at night, I will trust you. Help me to trust you(is it possible Lord to still have my yellow skin? Juz’ asking)… I will trust your decision . So help me God”.