To whom it may concern.

I don’t know why I’m doing this but something about this feels right. You should know certain things about me before you make up your mind.

The Weirdo–  I often veer off serious conversations and would ask you something totally unrelated like how i think Colgate toothpaste is a good brand as you tell me you just lost a dear friend. While you are trying to communicate your feelings to me, I could mention how the last state governor could have done more for his people. You see my dear, this doesn’t mean that I don’t want to engage in certain conversations with you, infact I wanna have these kind of conversation but at the moment I am mentally unavailable. Get the hint and choose to be silent or risk continuing the monologue. I think weddings are a beautiful waste of money. Why spend so much to feed people  who have no problems being fed at home. You see my darling, I just did it again…totally unrelated. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Addict– Should you choose to stay, you should know my addiction. Red Wine. I often wondered what calms individuals whilst they smoked weed or sniffed ‘cocaina’. I find the answer in every sip of a good bottle of red. Not the 2014s or 2015s, call me a wine snob but if I’m to give my time to a bottle of red wine, it better be good. Now does this mean I have a drinking problem, No. It simply means red wine helps me de-stress bearing in mind the kind of work I do. A single sip makes me care less about another person’s needs, wants, wishes or dreams. When you see me indulge, it’s left for you to walk or drink along. Indulgence rate= 6days a week excluding wednesdays. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Forensic Profiler– Don’t be confused darling, I’m not with the FBI, I just love researching and analyzing people- comments,tweets,laughter,online profiles,grunts,body language,fingernails,receipts,shopping pattern,eye movements, collar of shirts, wrist watch straps, morning breath, handwriting… I could go on but know this, I am not a freak. I just find solace analyzing people even though I look nothing like Elizabeth Keane. Sometimes I get hurt in the process, most times I’m right. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Meanie– Yea! Bite me, I could be mean. We all have mean moments. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Ms Independent–  I could make you feel you don’t matter, unimportant and in rare cases a total waste of affection. In a case of a flat tyre, while you are trying to dial AA rescue, I’m jacking up the car , loosing bolts and changing the damn tyres..aint nobody got time to wait for AA in this country.However, look deep into my eyes and see how much I care about you and want you by my side all day, to help me drive down to the store and get me tampons or just get some fuel for my gen, help zip-up my dress before stepping out to work etc. I’d rather let you see this side of me early in our relationship so you are not offended that I am not clingy and helpless. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Writer– I write alot. Most not necessarily the kind that may interest your mind but I write as i feel, as i see… I feel words are not meant to be minced. Say it out and let people draw strength from it. I started writing from age 8 love letters to God and my guardian angel, how can I not write a book in the nearest future. I love writing honey!!! In my writing I could mention you and your actions but that doesnt mean I am not capable of protecting what we have going. I just want one or two of our moments to bless someone. Come on!!! Don’t get mad. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Church Girl-  My love for God is a different story not for today but know this, It is compulsory that I work in His vineyard-“For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building...1corinthians 3:9 NLT

I just had to put some of me out here for you to see that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Being a woman of very simple words and a big heart, I can only say that choosing me will be the best decision you will ever make. I will love you with every fibre in me, I will cook awesome meals for you when you’ve hustled night and day, I will protect you, pray for you every single day,  never say a nasty word to you, praise you in the midst of your peers, scold you lovingly when you’re wrong, be your gossip partner, financial controller, lover and best friend. So help me God!

Before all these, you have to come close and be willling. Look beyond what I say and do. Look into my eyes and see my heart. If you understand this, then I would give you all of me but until then, don’t mishandle me and don’t waste my time.

Yours truly,



I Saw A Beautiful Soul.

The scorching sun shone fiercely that fateful Tuesday. I had to go to the bank quickly. The driver pulled up at the bank, I adjusted my outfit tucking in my blouse,sucking my bulging tummy in as I ran my fingers through my hair to flatten it out. The stench at the bank was toxic to the point of slight shortness of breath. I reached into my bag and got out my hand lotion, as I rubbed both palms together, I looked towards my right and saw this cashier. She was something but not from a magazine. Her hair looked like inter-twined jute bags buried in the earth. From where I stood I saw the brown flaky clusters at the corner of her head. She had no weight anywhere, malnourished-looking.Her skin was terribly dark and unappealing like the descriptions of the nomad in Cyprian Ekwensi’s “The Passport of Mallam Ilia”. No matter what lotion she managed to pamper her skin with, I was most certain it would never glow.Her fingers, oh! her fingers were shrivelled looking, fragile and totally unhealthy. Her nails looked terribly unkempt, unpainted and generally not a sight to behold.

It got to my turn and I saw her dentition protruding like they were gasping for breath. What came to mind was the image of the first man I had seen in my younger years at school.I wondered how in  heaven’s name this work of art gained employment with such a reputable bank. I was so confused as I stared at her.

Then I saw it.  On her 2nd finger, left hand, a wedding band. HOW? NOT POSSIBLE. WHAT????She’s married? Interesting. There I was thinking Ruby woo was the perfect shade for my lips, Colgate was the best tooth paste for my fragile dentition and Shea moisture was the perfect body soap. There was someone an arms-length away from me who probably doesn’t use any of these items but is soooo married. I couldn’t understand it. I looked puzzled as she assisted with my transaction but I left the bank fully aware of the awesomeness of God. She was God’s creation, His child, His daughter. She was perfect in God’s eyes and she was married. MARRIED. And here I was thinking my current state of being unmarried is probably from the village (na so ). Truth be told, the Holy Spirit answered me saying ” she has a beautiful soul“. And I agree 100%. She was perfect to her husband to the point he knelt down on one knee and gave her a ring. She was perfect to the point that he didn’t need to bail on her at the altar. She’s desirable to him and they probably have kids as evidence. Her husband wakes up every morning to this sight every day. Then why waste so much time and money dressing the outward rather than adding value to the inward. We spend so much time hunting for how to attract a man with our outward and forget most of the time, what keeps a man is what is within. 1Peter 3:3-4 says- Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight”. We’ve heard or read this part of the scripture countless times but never take out time to digest and apply it. A question comes to mind, how do we become beautiful within? And how do we keep at it? Isaiah 28 v 5 , claims the only way to be truly beautiful is to have God’s glory  upon us. When His glory is bestowed upon us, we have no choice but to go about ‘doing good’. If we share God’s love to one another, we are automatically reflecting outwardly, what is on our inside- Isaiah 52 v 7.

God’s love is so beautiful even though our hearts be cloaked in sin, he still finds us attractive. Attractive enough to bless us over and over again.

So as a single lady, I decided to take a step back and reflect on certain past actions and now I’m begging God to make me beautiful on the inside. God loves me even when I do wrong and push Him away. No mortal can love like this. That’s the idea of a perfect relationship. I have to be attractive to God, my lifestyle should speak God and attract Him to bring blessings my way and get me to do His bidding..Yea, quite a number of people go “you ‘re so beautiful” / your skin is lovely / you are hot etc. I don’t want it to end there… I’m more than that.

I wanna be seen as wise, patient, kind(this is such a huge task bearing in mind my degree in sarcasm and being a meanie), soft spoken,resourceful , prayerful, etc and prove God right to my peers who think beauty starts from the South American hair and end with the Gel-nail polish. I want to meet a man and have him say ‘Have you heard my babe speak” and not “have you seen my sexy babe“.  It had always been the other way round where I have to show cleavage, the human hair, wear heels, red lipstick (an addiction) to gain a man’s interest. For how long do you want to do this and ignore character building.

Make your single years count. Be closer to God like your life depends on it. Acquire the beauty expected of you so when that dude comes along, he can fulfill scriptures because he would have found a ‘good thing‘ and favor is his.

I have incredible friends now, who don’t know how much they’ve touched me in such a short while every Wednesday (currently my favorite day of the week). With their help, I know better now. So today I’m starting a daily prayer -(pray it if you can) “Lord, take away my outward  beauty and illuminate my inward beauty so the right man will see me,genuinely fall in love( real love WITHOUT SEX) and would not have to wait for so long before he asks me to be his forever. I will trust you. I would not scream at you Lord in the name of prayer, I would no longer cry at night, I will trust you. Help me to trust you(is it possible Lord to still have my yellow skin? Juz’ asking)… I will trust your decision . So help me God”.

The Village Theory

When the clarion call came for me to travel to my village, my mum was 98% sure i would not be interested because when it came to excuses, i was KING! I sat on my bed and thought hard about my reason for accepting this invite. The next day i told momma i was in and she was so happy. My older sister joined the league as well as my dad and off we went. Orlu here we come!!! The journey was such a fantastic one that i realized it wasn’t so bad after all. We drove through the Niger bridge and i left my mouth open till we got to the other side. It was such a beautiful sight even though the water didn’t look calm to me. It looked still and dark but thank God i left that thought behind else i would have entertained fear. We got into Anambra and the air smelled different. It smelled like okazi leaves with a mix of palm-kernel, more than a day old poop and burnt coconut (too much?)… The bottom line is, the air smelled different and it was because of the vegetation. I got to my father’s compound in Imo state and i was in awe. Wondered how it was that we had a massive “ulo-elu“(a house that has ‘upstairs’) like this in the village and never visited. As we settled in, i was looking forward to doing everything “village-like“. I brought out my wrapper to tie and a weak-necked t-shirt just so i could blend in. I walked outside to the express and saw as pretty girls with village swag looked at me, murmuring and giggling probably at the fact that i wasn’t  from around these parts and i was attempting to be. How could they have known, it wasn’t written on my head. They zoomed of in their cheap sequined clothes and bleached feet. The second thing i noticed was that every compound had a motorcycle. It wasn’t a case of status or anything like it. I spent 3 days and i saw only 3 cars(dead looking ones) in total. I didn’t know what it meant to have one until i casually told momma that i was going to buy her a motorcycle and watched as she danced the village-square kinda dance. The day ended with forcing my mum to roast yam and oil. “Why yam and red oil” she asked, i told her i wanted to understand what Okonkwo felt while eating such in his “obi”. Only thing was, my dad didn’t have one(oh well). Boy!!! Did i annoy her much each time i said “Serve me food” just like my dad says(LoL). The night came so quick as i  got a bucket and a towel to go take a “village bath” not so far from the palm tree. It was exhilarating, refreshing , cold….

Thus was the case of the first day and night. By the morning of the second day i woke up craving palm-wine after all i was in the  village. Went cruising with my cousin on his motorbike that looked like a relative of a “Harley davidson”. As we road along, i took notice of so many uncompleted structures along the road and wondered if the reason why they weren’t completed was spiritual or a case of insufficient funds(oh well)…I got to a road and saw this palm-wine tapper whom i begged shamelessly for fresh palm-wine. He gave me only cos he was told i was from Lagos. Boy!!!! the palm wine was *wait for it* o-r-g-a-s-m-i-c!!!(no apologies). A few minutes later we were at the market and i watched as hardworking women displayed very fresh food items on weak wooden tables and on the dirty ground. I got all i needed and headed home. The next thing i saw shocked me right down to the few strands of hair on my legs. I saw an old dirty looking store stacked with crates of olden days FANTA and GINGER-ALE (the one with a very slim bottle neck and ancient NBC writings on it)….. i screamed “SHUT UP!!!!!!! WHERE DID THIS SHOP-OWNER GET THESE FROM?” UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Got back home and carried my bucket and towel again to bath outside once again but my mum screamed and held me back ” don’t you know palm wine tappers are still up there?” Truth is, i didn’t care but i imagined the look on my boyfriend’s face if he heard i did this(we don’t wanna let the new BF know how crazy his GF is)…oh well…LoL. Momma won!  I went back in and used the bath-tub. Dad sat in his chair noisily accessing how good his green kola nut tasted. Night came and all my momma’s “Wu-tang-clan” came over and they gisted into the night and i marveled as they went back to their houses in the early hours of the morning with nothing but dim-lit lamps. PHCN haven’t  done my village well as they have only said the famous “UP NEPA” once in 3years. It was time to go back to the real city and i hugged my village cousin goodbye. He has a good heart which i have come to know and appreciate his amazing talent and character especially.

I sat in the horrible bus and wondered who the bad people Lagos peeps refer to in the village. I met good people- Aunties, uncles and cousins. They were all good to me and my family. People lived a lowly life in the village but some like drama and so they heat things up with nollywood voodoo. I guess the wicked and evil ones sat in their houses probably thinking of how to go and bury something in the compound of someone they have snapped their fingers and said “you will see” to. Are there people who would bury something in the ground just so someone from Lagos would tread on and die? Are there people who would stick a photograph of a young child on a mango tree and navigate curses all the way to “the abroad”?

Are there people who would wish his neighbor dead just because he stole chickens?

Who are these people? Are they our relatives? How do we get rid of them? Do we pray they die or repent?

I have seen for myself the extent a wicked man went and i wonder why some Christians don’t believe there’s evil in their village. What if the evil done is ancestral or inherited in nature?(oh well…)

The ignorant ones say “As long as i didn’t do any harm to anyone, why should anyone try to hurt me?”

As long as there is good, there is evil….(Remember this)

Pray without ceasing and keep speaking the word of God.

Yes, not every bad thing is from the village, agreed, but what about the ones that are?

I came back to civilization and asked myself would i go on this journey again regardless and i said to my reflection

“Heck yea!!!”….




🎵🎵”It’s the most wonderful time of the year🎄”……… Hello loves❤! It’s been a while right? Well, I’m doing fine. A lot has happened to me and I’m taking time out to pat myself on the back👍✋ After the break up, I thought I was gonna be sad forever and ever but heyyyyyyyy, I don’t know what Jesus took away but he sure gave me JOY. My pastor preached all through the month of November on JOY and I can say I have contacted it*hoots* . its december and there shouldn’t be any room for sadness oooo…. say NO to SADNESS biko! So I picked up a new interest and hope to transform it into a money making venture come 2014. Wanna know? Of cos I’d tell you.. My loves, that is how I decided to learn how to make and style hair but am still at 100level. I know some of us know how to weave but yours truly didn’t know at first so I used to 👀 this woman who comes to braid my sister’s hair and I went on YouTube to further understand this phenomenon of weaving. I’m trying, not yet there but eventually. I give myself till March to be a pro☝by God’s grace. Ok, what else haven’t I told you…. I got a JOB! It’s every Saturday though but it’s gonna increase this week. I got a job to be an Aerobics/Dance Instructor at a gym somewhere in Lekki(Nigeria)… It’s been fun. On my 1st day I expected to see 10 people but God sent 25 lovely women to the gym and it was maaaaad fun. I have been trying to get back my size 6 shape(with Jah all things are possible)😇…. Starting a class for kids too. It’s not the kind of Job I want but I know God is working something out for me. I am grateful. 2014 is gonna be AWESOME!!! I’m saving up for my birthday.
I ve decided to spend my birthday(Jan4) ALONE, having dinner at Four points or Oriental with a bottle of red wine, chocolate cakes and selfies(pics of me).. no man is invited, no thoughts of sex or any male related wahala(including menstrual pain) will be entertained. It’s gonna be a selfish day, why? Cos I deserve it💃…. Will update you don’t worry. Anyways, I still feel I should encourage some of us out there who are yet to find their Mr Right👤 don’t worry, the right man for you will come and when he comes,he will stay with you regardless. Be strong, don’t be pressured by the society which sometimes include Church/friends, live your life and be happy with whatever decision you make just as long as it doesn’t hurt you and doesn’t take you away from God’s presence. Also remember, I am not married yet, I don’t have a boyfriend but I have Christ. I don’t want to sound so spiritual and unrealistic but I would tell the truth, God has a way of lifting our heads(single chics), he hasn’t forgotten us. Sometimes at night when I feel so lonely and haven’t received a single call the entire day, I go to God and pray. The tears 😩 come but I feel like I hear God say ‘its done my child just be patient’ and he shuts my mouth and sends me to sleep. I know what you’re going through cos I’m in it. Trust God, the ‘Abraham-kinda-trust’ and everything good WILL come eventually. Don’t compromise, get busy. Restrain yourself from scrolling through your phone book and looking for that Ex that will give you hard rough sex😒😏🙈🙊……of what use will the rough,nail marks kinda sex be if he’s not serious about you. You will know the right man, cos he will stay ‘regardless’…..Until my next post, let my beautiful happy face inspire you to live life happy and full of JOY…..😘


How do I start and finish this post using the right words. As much as I hurt deeply at the moment, this post has to be written. People make marriage look easy like they didn’t suffer while dating. This is why I write, I write my joy,sorrow,pain,confusion and all cos someone out there needs to relate to it and be strong. People who know me will tell you I’m very expressive and open(I could be shameless)…So, for those who wonder why I blog about personal stuff(says who sef?) I hope you’re satisfied(who cares really?

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Back to the matter)

 Babe and I started our relationship 11months and today, we ENDED it(Rather, he did)!!!! As much as a lot of you would expect me to cut my hair, burn my clothes, bury my head in shame, I cannot and will NOT do it. Why? ‘Cos this is the life I signed up for(MY LIFE,YOUR LEARNING POINT) remember? Good! The truth is, as much as we both love each other, when one person’s love ‘DROPS’ it’s time to get up and leave… I saw the signs but I was adamant in making the relationship work. As much as women love their men to go hustle, we want quality time too. How a man creates time for you reveals his love for you. If a man finds it difficult to come visit you or when he sees you he refuses to wear a smile, honey! Wake up and smell the coffee. So today I waited for ‘THE CALL’ and it came. So Babe and I are done. I refuse to go into details cos I have to protect him and all BUT I’m happy it happened(wait!let me explain)… I would have settled. That’s not what LOVE is supposed to be. I don’t want to settle, I want to be happy all the days. And at the same time, its not right for Babe to go on feeling like he MUST love me or he should settle. NO! He has every right to make up his mind and for this I appreciate him. He refused going on in order not to waste my time(tears) but this parting is BEST(tears). Whether we would come back again is a rhetoric for now. I hope to be his friend(if I’m strong enough)after this… God knows I learnt a lot from this relationship. The few times Babe loved me, he loved me well. He wrote right the wrongs of Ex boyfriends(standing ovation) and I’m happy to have enjoyed ‘US’ while we lasted. Too bad we couldn’t celebrate our 1st anniversary, I was planning a trip(tears)… So here I am, taking Jesus’ hand into my heart and saying ‘take my pain Lord and turn it into gain’…. It’s not the end of the world(smiles)….I’m hot, brilliant and sexy(hoots) in a few months I’d be back on the dating scene(sips wine) having worked on myself. I wish Babe all the best in the world(for real) and pray that he finds a woman who will love him like he deserves… Who says all relationships MUST end in marriage.




 “God gave me a good man, he loved me and is gone….

God who gave would give another one

Pain and tears won’t reverse today

Love begun and now its gone”




 THE MAY 18 EXPERIENCE Eighteen days after my first




Eighteen days after my first stage play and I’m just releasing this post. Don’t mind me, BABE got me to fix my nails for the first time and I have been finding it difficult to type, ping, wear jewelry, itch my legs and the list goes on. Things we do to please men {LoL}. Finally took them off yesterday now I’m free {wipes brows}. Back to the matter. Eighteen days after my first stage play


THE COUNSELOR’S NOTES and I’m still in awe of what God did for me. God was just AMAZING {standing ovation}. When I used to write poems from God when I was 5years old, I never knew He was preparing me for a colorful future. I remember when it dawned on me that I could write, it was 3weeks to my second semester examination and I walked into Creative writing class for the first time. My lecturer gave me this look of disgust and felt he was doing me ‘strong thing’ by telling me to write a short play and submit by 5pm. Ladies and gentlemen, I wrote a play with seven scenes and submitted by 2pm. Yep! I’m bad like that {Lol}. I scored 5points and that was the only 5points scored in my entire stay at the university {shrug}. In 2011, I would sit with my Partner and tell him of my many ideas for my play and he would say the most encouraging words and the days would just go by. I actually have written scripts here and there but I never staged anyone, this was my first production. I wrote THE COUNSELOR’S NOTES, showed my partner and he encouraged it greatly. We talked about possible choice for cast and I approached them; the married, the 9-5,the décor chic, the events guy, the introvert, the make-up artiste, the outreach guy, the crazy chic, the teacher and the student.. They all agreed and went by the name THE MOVEMENT and all made rehearsals which lasted almost three months. Amazing team! I didn’t know how I was going to make rehearsals every week cos I lived too far away had no job or money but God surprised me and his grace was more than sufficient. I made every rehearsal and so did the rest of the team. It was always a mushy experience for me at rehearsals cos I couldn’t help but think that the cast all came for rehearsals because of something I had written. I had never seen anything through to the end before and it was scary at some point cos I thought I won’t see this project through to the end. My partner and I began working and sending out letters and people responded. One man gave us money in $$$$ and I was so SHOCKED but that was proof that God’s hand was with me. May18, 2013 came and the attendance, reviews and all were more than on point. People were so touched. I got emails, text messages, tweets and all about the play. God surprised me and like I always say ‘GOD KNOWS HOW TO TREAT A LADY“. I saw my Dad, Sis and her husband walking into the venue and I stood tall and excited that I had family around although I wasn’t sure if my dad would like the play since it was about dating and all {Lol}. From the acting I saw that day, I knew it was just a matter of a few years before I meet TYLER PERRY.

Geez!!! I love Tyler Perry’s BRAIN. Great guy and a great mentor. I have all of Tyler Perry’s movies, series and stage plays even to their scripts {too much?} One day, Tyler and I would write a play and direct it together, remember this post when that happens. AMEN! I know THE COUNSELOR’S NOTES will be a blessing to a lot of people, I can’t wait to go on tour with it. Guess what? The script is a TRUE STORY, my story. {You will be reading more stories in months to come. Remember


MY LIFE, YOUR LEARNING POINT} THE COUNSELOR’S NOTES is a play about the good and bad times in relationships. It x-rays three couples specifically who turn to a counselor for help but she is unable to solve their issues and seeks PASTORAL help. Let me break it down for you. The First couple- KEN & ABI: lovely couple but Ken couldn’t commit let alone say ‘I love you’ to Abi even after five years of dating. All he kept telling her was ‘I care about you’. Familiar? {LoL} The second couple- ZARA & NAETO: Zara is the ‘accomplished’ one while Naeto is the unemployed-frustrated-now violent-one who beats her up whenever. Familiar? WAIT! The third couple- TASLIM & OLLY: perfect couple except for the fact that Tas is a Muslim and Olly a Christian who’s being threatened by Tas’ family. Who will convert? Now you see that you missed out on the play? Anyways, you can book your copies just send an email to Ladies it’s time to x-ray your relationship, don’t die in it, stand tall in Christ Jesus. So it’s official, I’m a playwright on a mission. Praise God! My next stage production is in November 2013, will keep you posted. Before my appreciation can I say that everyone was created for a purpose and until you discover it, you’ll keep going round in circles. May God help us discover, live and sustain our vision and may he bring us vision helpers always. AMEN!






TOSIN LEBILE- The most dedicated. Never missed a day. Thank you so much. God bless you

BUSAYO OLUDAYO- World traveller. You did more than great. God bless you

YOMI SOLANKE: Crazy guy! I appreciate your commitment. God bless you too.

AMAKA ANOLUE- Over dedicated friend. A strong believer of the vision. God bless you

GBENGA OGUNSHAKIN- My amazing friend and partner, you were a good pillar of support. God bless you

ETTA BASSEY- Fantastic friend and actress. Love you

OPE ONI- I love your commitment. Beautiful actress of Life. God bless you

PETER SANI- Thank you for your patience and commitment. God bless you.

KENNIE ADEMOYEGA- I still think you don’t need a mic when acting. Actress of life. Well done.

ESTHER DICKSON- God will reward your commitment and dedication dear.



DEMOLA- You know how we roll…*hi5* thank you bro

CHUKS- you came through for me as always

UCHE ANYANWU- Stage manager of life!!!!!Wonderful sister of Life. God bless you.



Finally (wipes bows) – My wonderful, handsome, supportive BABE. God bless the day I opened my eyes {you know what I mean}. I can imagine the future with you. I love you BABE. Thank you for ‘every’.

OK! I’m done

After All Said and Done

Sue me for wanting a tall,dark and handsome man. Michael was all of this and a bag of chips more. He had a mad sense of humor and the sarcasm of ‘Dr House’. Very creative and very brilliant. I loved him,as well as his imperfections. Everyone thought we fought a lot and shouldn’t be together but our compatibility and GREAT SEX(big grin) kept us together. We loved the same things-movies,music,art,fashion, even had common friends around the country. He introduced me to his family as the girl he’d love to walk down the isle with,his mum knew me,everyone knew me. I could tell he was serious about us. My friends called him a loser because each time we broke up in the past,it was because of his imperfections and I always went back to him. I always thought the ‘good times’ outweighed the bad. Besides, I didn’t believe in referring to a man as ‘vomit’ as an Ex is being called in these parts. I loved him in the good and in the bad.

Michael is a man of his words so whenever he said ‘I love you’, I believed him. I loved the way he would shut his laptop,lock his fingers and listen to how my day went. He ate all my ‘catering practicals’, LoL. Michael loved everything about me,this I could tell, Until when I became closer to God. I knew being with Michael would cost me my salvation. You see,I desperately wanted(and still want) to make heaven and I knew each time we made love,I was an inch closer to the creeks of hell. I knew this. I had dreams of life after ‘THE END’ more than seven times. I was feared to be left behind but I loved Michael so much that I unconsciously accepted that if we both don’t make heaven,we would make the ‘second’ flight to heaven together and go through tribulation together. Freaky right? I know. I got to church one morning and I prayed to God to separate me from whatever won’t let me make Heaven. I never envisaged Michael in that category.( The grip that young man had on me).

I defended the love I had for him in the eyes of family and friends and just when I had done that, we had a misunderstanding and the truth came out. He told me how he truly felt about me. It was my fault though and I apologized over and over again and asked for a chance to change. He wouldn’t have it. He told me he ‘claimed to love me’, he said he would rather let me hate him for the rest of my life and his,than to be in a relationship with me. That was it. I made a little mistake which had nothing to do with cheating,stealing,lying,deceit and the likes- it was a flaw in my character that could easily have been worked on. He let me go just like that! So I sat still and cried painful tears unto God to take this pain from me and comfort me. I felt like I had a hole in my heart. My sweet lord it was unbearable.

And God spoke to me,he said ‘TRUST ME,YOU KNOW ITS FOR YOUR GOOD’. I heard him clearly. Years back, I would be mad at God when a guy broke up with me because I was a product of a broken home and I felt I desperately needed to be loved. This time,all I could do was sing praises to God. I cried as I worshipped God and I told him I would trust him. I trust God to bring me a man after his own heart. A man that would fear when I say ‘I’l report you to God’. So I vowed to be celibate. It’s not an easy task AT ALL especially for one who loves sex(covers face). Well…. There are lessons to be learnt.

1• Never love a man more than he loves you. We can never love God more than he loves us. It is the duty of the man to love you. We should love right back but our own is to be submissive especially.

2• Never stay with a man who is scared of commitment. The signs would always be there. Michael and I talked about wedding,marriage,kids,projects,future but he couldn’t pop the question. I should have known.

3• Invite God into your relationship. You can’t ask God to take the wheel of your life and not your relationship. Let him help you.

4• I learnt that God will viciously and passionately separate you from what seems to be taking his place. He isn’t called a jealous God for nothing.

5• I also learnt that he does ANSWER prayers.

6• Never marry a man who isn’t making you better.

7• A good man will love you in the good and bad

8. Compatibility doesn’t guarantee a good marriage.

9• Good sex doesn’t guarantee happiness in marriage. There are things sex won’t sort out for you.

10• If you have a flaw in character,accept it and change

11• After he dumps you, learn your lessons,wait for the next while trusting God

The essence of this post is to encourage someone out there who desperately wants to please God but finds it difficult to leave the ‘workings’ of the flesh. I have been there and by the blood of Jesus,I will NEVER give my body or even my tears to a man not my husband ‘cos at the end of the day I will loose my dignity and get hurt while the dude goes about humping others and achieving his goals. You can do ALL things through christ. So check yourself and who you are with right now, is your relationship taking you one step to the gates of heaven or the suburbs of hell?