To whom it may concern.

I don’t know why I’m doing this but something about this feels right. You should know certain things about me before you make up your mind.

The Weirdo–  I often veer off serious conversations and would ask you something totally unrelated like how i think Colgate toothpaste is a good brand as you tell me you just lost a dear friend. While you are trying to communicate your feelings to me, I could mention how the last state governor could have done more for his people. You see my dear, this doesn’t mean that I don’t want to engage in certain conversations with you, infact I wanna have these kind of conversation but at the moment I am mentally unavailable. Get the hint and choose to be silent or risk continuing the monologue. I think weddings are a beautiful waste of money. Why spend so much to feed people  who have no problems being fed at home. You see my darling, I just did it again…totally unrelated. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Addict– Should you choose to stay, you should know my addiction. Red Wine. I often wondered what calms individuals whilst they smoked weed or sniffed ‘cocaina’. I find the answer in every sip of a good bottle of red. Not the 2014s or 2015s, call me a wine snob but if I’m to give my time to a bottle of red wine, it better be good. Now does this mean I have a drinking problem, No. It simply means red wine helps me de-stress bearing in mind the kind of work I do. A single sip makes me care less about another person’s needs, wants, wishes or dreams. When you see me indulge, it’s left for you to walk or drink along. Indulgence rate= 6days a week excluding wednesdays. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Forensic Profiler– Don’t be confused darling, I’m not with the FBI, I just love researching and analyzing people- comments,tweets,laughter,online profiles,grunts,body language,fingernails,receipts,shopping pattern,eye movements, collar of shirts, wrist watch straps, morning breath, handwriting… I could go on but know this, I am not a freak. I just find solace analyzing people even though I look nothing like Elizabeth Keane. Sometimes I get hurt in the process, most times I’m right. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Meanie– Yea! Bite me, I could be mean. We all have mean moments. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Ms Independent–  I could make you feel you don’t matter, unimportant and in rare cases a total waste of affection. In a case of a flat tyre, while you are trying to dial AA rescue, I’m jacking up the car , loosing bolts and changing the damn tyres..aint nobody got time to wait for AA in this country.However, look deep into my eyes and see how much I care about you and want you by my side all day, to help me drive down to the store and get me tampons or just get some fuel for my gen, help zip-up my dress before stepping out to work etc. I’d rather let you see this side of me early in our relationship so you are not offended that I am not clingy and helpless. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Writer– I write alot. Most not necessarily the kind that may interest your mind but I write as i feel, as i see… I feel words are not meant to be minced. Say it out and let people draw strength from it. I started writing from age 8 love letters to God and my guardian angel, how can I not write a book in the nearest future. I love writing honey!!! In my writing I could mention you and your actions but that doesnt mean I am not capable of protecting what we have going. I just want one or two of our moments to bless someone. Come on!!! Don’t get mad. Are you gonna leave or stay?

Church Girl-  My love for God is a different story not for today but know this, It is compulsory that I work in His vineyard-“For we are both God’s workers. And you are God’s field. You are God’s building...1corinthians 3:9 NLT

I just had to put some of me out here for you to see that there’s nothing to be afraid of. Being a woman of very simple words and a big heart, I can only say that choosing me will be the best decision you will ever make. I will love you with every fibre in me, I will cook awesome meals for you when you’ve hustled night and day, I will protect you, pray for you every single day,  never say a nasty word to you, praise you in the midst of your peers, scold you lovingly when you’re wrong, be your gossip partner, financial controller, lover and best friend. So help me God!

Before all these, you have to come close and be willling. Look beyond what I say and do. Look into my eyes and see my heart. If you understand this, then I would give you all of me but until then, don’t mishandle me and don’t waste my time.

Yours truly,

Me.

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6 thoughts on “To whom it may concern.

  1. Wetin this one dey write sef…what are you feeling like. mschewww…Now that i have responded like this – Are you gonna stay or leave..lol

    Nice piece ooo…no mind me. Well i guess you already know you shouldnt mind me..so Are you gonna stay or leave

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