When this topic hit me early this morning, I laughed at myself because I knew my friends would say ‘thermochic has come again’. Indeed I have. For those who don’t know Methuselah, he was Noah’s grandfather,the oldest man in the bible who lived for 969years. Adding courtship right after grandpa Methuselah will give you a better understanding of what this post is all about. Courtship is and should be the coming together of a man and woman who just made a commitment to themselves to walking down the aisle and live as Man and wife. I do not know how courtship is done around the world as I am not well travelled,don’t have foreign friends and don’t believe the Mills and Boon stories however, I am aware of how it’s done in my country- Nigeria. What I see these days are women prematurely tied down and emotionally spent in their relationships of more than 4years. I, personally believe that a man who can walk up to a girl and state his intentions for a relationship knows already if she is a wife ‘fabric’ or not. What I see these days are relationships going as far as 7,8,9,10years. My sister(now married) dated her husband for almost 13years,by the 13th year they were married. At some point they had a misunderstanding and her husband(boyfriend back then) called off the relationship, my sister attempted suicide. Silly girl!! Her words were “Where would I start from?” “Who would marry me in my 30’s?” And she was just 31 when it happened. I hate to think that there are still girls who are so comfortable and happy celebrating 9years of being some guy’s GIRLFRIEND. Why put yourself through all that emotional drama? Some girls are frustrated but cannot do anything but stay put there in uncertainty. I won’t talk about sex in a relationship that has been on for 7years because I know for sure you both are getting ‘some’ but know this,that the guys who put their girlfriends through this are selfish, self centered and self seeking. You hear the guys use words like ‘don’t worry very soon’ or ‘ I will marry you,don’t worry’ WHEN? Is it when she’s in her mid 30’s or early 30’s? At that stage if the relationship doesn’t work out,the girls are either suicidal or depressed. This is the part where all the religious houses become filled up with spinsters in late 30’s. Why date a girl for 8/9years? What exactly aren’t you sure of? For me, 4years is the highest I can go. We know each other for a year plus, by the 2nd year put a ring my finger already, by the third year we have over a year to plan(with God’s help) our wedding and by the fourth year can we just get to the altar already. If you need more than a year to get to know me before you propose, then we both are unreal to each other.

A friend of mine on my BBM and I were chatting and I asked if her boyfriend had proposed and she said “No. He’s taking his time,we don’t want to rush into anything”. What I could deduce from those words were ‘Nne what can I do? I’ve been begging him for a ring,biko I’ve left him to God’. They have been dating for over 7years without a break. Seriously? Another friend of mine wants a child from his girlfriend he adores and loves so much but he too is taking his time. May I ask, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? If you say you are not ready,why ask her out in the first place? And if you say it’s money, why not work hard,save up then ask the young lady out? Men, stop wasting our time, lives and emotions. Do you want us to be worn out early in marriage(to you or not)? It is true that women know in less than 6months if the man she’s with is husband ‘fabric’,why do guys need 5years for this? Is this how long it took you before you put Unilag as your first choice? Is this how long it took you before you moved out of your parents’ house? Is this how long it took you to know that Jesus Christ is Lord? Then why the wait? Please step up your game and put a ring on it. She warms your bed, cooks your food, does your laundry,cleans your house, talks to your mother and sisters, attends family functions in aso ebi with you, you might as well just MARRY HER.

Young ladies, pregnancy is not the way to speed up a proposal. Ask that man who is interested in you what his plans are. State it from the beginning that you don’t want a courtship as long as Bourdillon road and as old as Yaba. Then again, if you don’t mind spending more than 4years with your man, know that you are setting yourself up for depression.
Today, let’s just say I am slightly worried about this long relationships happening everywhere, the new fad it seems. I may not have the perfect of relationships, I may not be a professional writer or counselor, I may be too weird in my thinking but if there’s one thing you must know ladies,is that THERMOCHIC is saying NO TO METHUSELAH COURTSHIP……(lol)



  1. Thelma, I’m happy with this post of yours. Someone just had to tell it as it is. The truth is, no matter how long you date someone, you can never know everything about the person. And for heaven sake, womeh should understand that at 70, a man can still get married but a woman who is 30 is seen as an old cargo. Why waste your time and give up other good offers cos you are waiting for a very childish and deceitful man to make up his mind. LIFE IS TOO SHORT for oshi. Don’t allow your long thing to turn to short thing.
    Nice one thelma ( • )( •Ԅ(˘̶̀, ˘̶́ ‘)

  2. I agree with u, perfectly. The question starred up on my mind is “why is this common around here?” I think δ honest answer lies in δ perculiarities of each society. What do I mean? In Europe, America(1st world countries) you meet someone u love, u guys agree & maximum 1yr later u guys tie the nuptial knot. That is because things r much easier in those countries because the basic needs of life(accomodation, feeding, clothing, children education etc)are not issues especially when u can work. The case in naija is different and since the weight lies solely on δ man, he sometimes needs time to be balanced.infact, in some cases it takes δ guys years to gather δ bride price. This is not to say that some people just waste time for no solid reason but I think its basically due to δ perculiarit

  3. I do agree, once you know the basics about someone there is no need waiting for ever to reach the final stop. The truth is dat people reach to different situations in a different way and at different times so there is no way you can totally know someone even if you wait forever.

  4. Thermochic, u said it all, but one thing is for sure true love and trust makes everything right. But if that is not available in a relationship then all that glitters will become Rusted.
    My own has just clocked 4 yrs nov 1st. And at least I know its close to time for me to say those golden words I do very I have no fear of my relationship going down becos everymorning I wake up and see his face it feels like we both waking up the first time we met, but then again u neva know what men really are? (But I do know wht my man is capable of).
    Conclusion : if true love and trust exists no man or woman will take advantage of each others feelings . But in our recent world today its so difficult to tell…

  5. well done thermochic…cool name by the way. i like it …thermochic. ok. you have said it all as a matter of fact, was asking my boo yday when we are getting hitched already. i think many nigerian youths are waiting to have it all before they get married. getting married and living in a self contained or a mini flat isn’t bad. it might be the beginning of a couple’s marriage but it is not the end. there are many who started like this and have their own houses while there are many who are still living in rented apartments cos of the huge rent. everyone wants comfort….but not everyone can afford it just yet. cut our coat accordin to ur cloth and not ur size.

  6. The fact dt a guy proposes/puts a ring on ur finger still doesn’t mean dt he will get married..most importantly is God having his u don’t get maRried to d wrong man n get frustrated in marriage..God help us all.

  7. Oh mmy…i kant stop laffin..u just hit the nail on the head..i lyke dt..i pray the men wil read dis n do d right tin oo dan kipin smone waitin..
    Nice piece up..

  8. I say yes to Methuseleh relationship, Wait aminute, lemme finish, before my head is shaved off. My personal experience was I dated my wife now for close to 8 years, before we tied the knot and i thought i knew her beyond her imagination and vice versa. but nothing prepared me for how much we stormed once married. It was like Ii was married to a different person, I mean three years down the line, we have started norming again and the storming has reduced greatly, but I always wonder if we had, had those 1 year or two year courtships, we probably would have had every reason for divorce now. All the while, we raged, we both knew, loved and respected each other, but couldn’t agree on many things together. If we didnt have that long courtship, we would have called our love and respect into question, and who knows.

    Again, material things are a reason for delay for a number of people in our clime for long courtships. Sometimes, it is unintended, but, it is also very true, that as human beings we are friends of status quo, so if not pushed, a guy will not ask for a lady’s hand after dating for so long.

    Lastly, put God above all else, love your partner unconditionally, respect your partner and surely the best will come your way. The best might actually mean, both will go their separate ways.

  9. Com on girls,u shld be wise to know which man is serious & willin to take u to altar, a girl that will b in a relationship for 5yrs wihout the guy proposin shld b wise to let go,they r good men out ther looking for good girls that will b their wife. Well I will boldly say here that we shld embrace God & b faithful to him,trust me if we do that he will surely bless us with our hrt desire. For the bible said we shld seek first his kindom then every other thing will be added. We shld pray for a God fearing man or woman for life partner. And for you thelma when ever you want to write such articule don’t generalize please becaue ther r many girls out ther that r not ready,they still want to enjoy their life. God will help us IJN amen

  10. the one that makes me laugh the most are the actual “methuselahs” with boyfriends and girlfriends. why are you at the age of 50+ calling someone your boyfriend ? better to refer to him as a “gentleman friend” abeg. same with men like George Clooney…those “eternal bachelors” , the older they get the younger the women they “date” . sigh.
    on a more serious note, I too have met a number of people in such long courtships. I don’t understand it unless school or bad finances or visa wahala was the major reason. while I think one year is too short. ten years is seriously pushing it..

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